Rush hour on the Jubilee line Tube, a couple in their mid-to late 40s stand between the door and myself. They look comfortable around each other, and I assume have been marries for many years.
The MAN starts musing over the sign on the door: “OBSTRUCTING THE DOORS CAN BE DANGEROUS”
Man: love, hey love…
Woman ignores him
Man: (chuckling) Oi, love (nudging her)
The WOMAN slowly turns her head, heaving a sigh as if she knows what is coming
Woman: hm? (raises eyebrows)
The MAN by now is almost unable to contain his laughter, pronouncing short, deep “hu hu hu” sounds. He points to the sign, then to the word “DOORS” on it
Man: Get rid of the “R” and change the “D” to a “P”… hu hu hu, Get it?
The WOMAN’s face remains expressionless, then exchanges an apologetic glance with me. I muster up a forgiving smile to ease her embarrassment
Man: This is brilliant, I’m ringing Dan!
His wife and I look on as the Baboon-like creature prods at his Iphone, only to realise he is underground. No Signal.